How do you respond to unexpected changes, stressful situations or difference in points of views?

  • Do you tend to be inflexible, rigid-thinking or passive-aggressive?
  • Perhaps you manipulate, bully others into accepting your points of view or dominate conversations?
  • Do physical symptoms become more intense when you are angry?
  • Does your anger contribute to relationship breakdown, anxiety, depression or social withdrawal?
  • Is anger a part of your addictive behaviours such as over-eating, spending money or binge drinking?
  • Are you unhappy with your parenting because anger gets in the way?

If you answered yes to two or more questions, then learning tools with individual counsellors to contain anger would be helpful to you, your loved ones and work colleagues.

We live in a society where road rage, anger outbursts, physical threats and domestic violence is common experience and is on the rise. Proof of this is Rosie Batty, the 2015 Australian of the Year, a domestic violence campaigner. Rosie advocates that it is important that we learn the tools to deescalate conflictual situations at home, in the workplace and in our communities.

Anger management is a common term for men’s violence programs however the more accurate term I believe is emotional regulation. Glen Eira Counselling clinicians are able to treat anger outbursts not only with men but women, children, adolescents, couples and families. We can assist you and your family members to better regulate emotional responses.

Anger is historically one of the most basic primal responses. Anger is a unique emotion, in that we experience an inner physical sensation known as the ‘fire within’ or as in Eastern tradition it is known as ‘fire energy’. Unfortunately Western society fails to make good understanding of how to manage and contain our fire energy. In other words, we tend to suppress, deny, avoid or explode with a torrent of hurtful words and behaviours to those who cross our paths.

Like our ancestors before us, the regulation of inner anger and within relationships is the key strategy in which to achieve greater success in our careers, personal life and emotional wellbeing. Dr Joseph Shrand, MD, is an educator of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He has co-authored a book titled, ‘Outsmarting Anger 7 Strategies for Defusing Our Most Dangerous Emotion.’ This current research explores the localisation of the anger zone in the prefrontal cortex of the brain and offers evidence of mental strategies to regulate anger. The seven strategies he recommend include:

  1. Identify Signs of Rage
  2. Envy Bubbling
  3. Sensing Suspicion
  4. Promoting Peace
  5. Empathy
  6. Communicating Clearly
  7. Trade with thanks & acknowledgment

Improving emotional self-regulation is a common counselling goal in individual therapy, in relationship, couple, marriage and family therapy. For our patients we achieve success and positive outcomes before toxic situations reach boiling point. We can assist you how to recognise the physical signs of increasing agitation, the breathing tools to calm others, how to think clearly under pressure and to better communicate with empathy. If you are the victim or someone you care for has anger problems then please contact a psychologist at Glen Eira Counselling clinic to assist you.